For many of us, our life is dominated by never-ending lists of shoulds. These could come in the form of all those everyday tasks that we expect of ourselves, to the big shoulds - those that determine the path of our lives. These might be things like: I should own my own home by now, I should be married, I should get it right all the time. Most of it amounts to the same thing: I should be perfect. Where do shoulds come from? Shoulds are messages that we have taken in from outs